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A listener recently asked, "Jen, what is your favorite quote, piece of advice, book, healthy meal and kitchen gadget? Also, I would love to know the standout personal development books you've read." I answer each of these questions in this Happy Bit.
Kirsten Tyrrel and her husband shifted from unemployed to making a 7-figure income in a matter of about 1 1/2 years. Learn how Kirsten was able to transform her life by changing her mindset and constantly focusing on education and goals.
Kirsten is a mom of three with a passion for having fun and raising her kids while building her businesses. She is the host of the Marvelous Mom's Club Podcast and she loves to have adventures and would rather talk to people more than anything else in the world! Kirsten lives in southern Utah.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Kirsten:
"We were not put on this earth to stand still. "
"Something that I really had to understand that if we are not moving forward we're moving backward because life keeps moving. And it's impossible to stay where you are. If you are not moving forward, you are definitely moving backward."
"Failure is when you stop trying."
"If things come so easily, you don't appreciate them when they finally come."
"Lesson:
- you can't control everything
- I learned that you can't do it all
- a little bit of patience and knowing that as much as I want stuff to happen, but as passionate as I am about making my dreams come true and about having a wonderful, adventurous life, I have to be patient with the ride and enjoy the ride as I am on it, instead of constantly looking forward to the outcome."
Some of Kirsten's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "I love having my 10 minutes of quiet time or my 15 minutes of quiet time where I am shut off from everything."
Easy meal: "Curry. We just grill up some chicken and some vegetables and throw the curry sauce on it and put some rice in the rice cooker on it. It's like the fastest, easiest dinner." Trader Joe's Yellow Curry.
Favorite kitchen gadget: "Kitchenaide"
Kristen's Favorite Books: "Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill"
Best advice received: "There is a million ways to make a million dollars, and if you try to do them all, you won't make any money."
Kirsten's Happiness Formula:
"I am happiest when I pray, sleep, and play."
A Challenge from Kirsten:
"Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Realize that every single step you make in the right direction is kind of a pay-it-forward for your future self. If you are willing to do things and push yourself out of your comfort zone everyday, that result is so much more than you came and calculate right now. So, just get out of your comfort zone, do something good for other people and do something good for yourself and the results are going to be more than you can even comprehend."
Resources
Outwitting the Devil: The Secret to Freedom and Success
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
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Sometimes when we're feeling overwhelmed and burnt out, we crave nothing more than a weekend getaway. But what if there's something that's just as effective and only takes as little as 20-60 minutes? There is: yoga. In this Happy Bit I share how yoga can help you let go of that frazzled feeling and shift into a space of calm alignment.
Want to feel more grounded, calm and aligned so you can more easily listen to intuition? Yoga will help, and quickly, too. Learn why the combination of breathing and movement will leave you feeling AMAZING!
Resources
Vibrant Happy Women Review of the Week
We all have numerous things we believe, but do we ever stop to think about where those beliefs came from and whether they serve us? In this fantastic interview with Elizabeth Rider we talk about beliefs, education, not quitting and the importance of ALLOWING things to happen with ease and flow rather than PUSHING things to happen.
Elizabeth Rider is a leading nutrition & whole living expert teaching women around the world how to become the healthiest, most successful people they know. In a world flooded with diet information, Elizabeth’s healthy recipes and straight-forward nutrition advice draw millions of inspired readers to her popular blog. Thousands have had success using her online programs, which include Clean Up Your Diet™, Purpose To Profit™ and The Wellness Business Bootcamp™. As host of Elizabeth Eats on Food Matters TV, Elizabeth is delightfully changing the way the world views healthy home cooking. She speaks on stages around the world and mentors scores of ambitious people each year to seek and live life on their own terms. As a Certified Holistic Health Coach (Integrative Nutrition) and accomplished online entrepreneur, cultivating a lifestyle of freedom and health is her religion. Elizabeth is a graduate of Cornell University’s Plant-Based Nutrition program, a TEDx speaker, and regular contributor to The Huffington Post. Her recipes have been featured on Shape.com, MSN, MindBodyGreen, Buzzfeed, Greatist and POPSUGAR among others.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Elizabeth:
"You are not your beliefs."
"We pick up beliefs in life as we go."
"When we believe something, we will subconsciously seek out facts to affirm our beliefs."
"For a long time, even for me, I wasn't willing to believe that we are not our beliefs, that I am not my beliefs. And when I made that turning point, It was like WOW."
"Because when we think that we are our beliefs, that'S where so much anxiety and discomfort and distress in our brains comes from."
"The thing that people don't realize is that what you accrue along the way, you can't even think of right now. You do not even know what it's going to be."
"I generally stay away from gluten and dairy. I feel like when I eat flour, it makes me feel really bloated. And when I eat dairy, it makes my skin break out."
"My life's mission is in my own personal life is to bridge that gap between really loving my food and making sure that it is serving me and not harming me."
"I really think that judgment is a mirror. And it's always a reflection of our beliefs."
"One of the biggest tragedies in life is people not who would not take action over the fear of being judged when the judgement is actually just a mirror of how they felt about themselves. You can change those beliefs."
Some of Elizabeth's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Not quitting. Knowing that instead of quitting you just have to find a different way."
Easy meal: "A smoothie. Red Thai Curry, easy to put together with coconut milk."
Favorite kitchen gadget: "Le Creuset Signature Enameled Cast-Iron Dutch Oven"
Elizabeth's Favorite Books: "Change Me Prayers: The Hidden Power of Spiritual Surrender Book by Tosha Silver"
Best advice received: "I can't live if I care what other people think about me."
Elizabeth's Happiness Formula:
"Freedom plus allowing plus awareness plus ease."
A Challenge from Elizabeth:
"Write down your 5 biggest beliefs in life and understand where they came from. And then go read that post on the Oatmeal: The Backfire Effect (on the Oatmeal)"
Resources
Le Creuset Signature Enameled Cast-Iron Dutch Oven
Change Me Prayers: The Hidden Power of Spiritual Surrender Book by Tosha Silver
The Backfire Effect (on the Oatmeal)
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
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I share the story of my 3-year-old daughter Cora's self destructive behavior (hair, stitches, scabs) and how we FINALLY stumbled onto a solution after weeks of thinking there WAS no solution. I relate this story to your life. Are their times you've given up? Well, don't. 99% of the time a solution will present itself IF you stay open. Learn how in this episode.
www.jenriday.com/happy62
Despite having a successful blog and business, Crystal Paine found herself feeling burnt out and not really excited about anything at all. So she made the choice to untangle herself from her business obligations so she could take a year of rest and have that time to pour into herself so she could better pour into others. During that year Crystal did things that brought her true joy, including spending time with her kids, completely overhauling her health and enjoying the freedom to be more spontaneous, adventurous and creative. If the idea of a year of rest appeals to you, then you're going to love this episode.
Crystal Paine a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, business consultant, and the founder of MoneySavingMom.com. MoneySavingMom.com was started in 2007 as an offshoot of a mommy blog Crystal had and has since grown to be one of the top personal finance blogs on the web averaging over 1.5 million unique visitors per month. Crystal lives in the Nashville area with her husband and 3 kids. Get Crystal's free 5 Days to a Better Morning series to learn how to start your day off on the right foot.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Crystal:
"Do what you can with what you've got, where you are."
'I wanted to say yes to my family, yes to fun, and yes to things that were going to scare me a little bit but hopefully help me break free from fears and anxiety and be able to just walk in more freedom in my life."
"I said yes to my health."
"When I broke free from not being dependent upon coffee to survive, then I realized that I felt so empowered in other areas in my life....I needed to break free from that because it was causing me to have anxiety, it was hindering my sleep, and that then was contributing to other health problems. But it was also that I was looking to this thing, this drink that I was drinking, to give me the energy to do what I needed to do, instead of just getting enough sleep and taking care of myself and eating healthy so that I could have the inner strength to do what I needed to do."
"I wanted people to see that I am not at all as brave or courageous as people assume that I must be, and that there's a lot of things like making phone calls or talking to people that I don't know well that scare me. But I have learned that the more that I make myself face those fears and do those things, the more that I feel empowered, and so when I step outside my comfort zone, the more that I do it, then over time my comfort zone moves, and I am able to then face more fears and go farther because I didn't just stay where it is all safe."
Some of Crystal's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Writing out daily to-do-lists. I’ve done for years and years. Google calendar for family, team. I brain dump everything into Google calendar as all-day tasks."
Easy meal: "Salmon, bake it in the oven, with brown rice with sweet potato fries and roasted broccoli. Salad with a homemade dressing."
Favorite kitchen gadget: "InstantPot"
Crystal's Favorite Books: Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequist
Best advice received: "Do the next right thing."
Crystal's Happiness Formula:
Getting enough sleep + allowing time to refuel + using talents and gifts to bless others' lives.
A Challenge from Crystal:
"Take time and make space in your life to breathe and refuel and take care of you."
Resources
5 Days to a Better Morning series
Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequist
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:
Are you looking for the "next step" in life? Wondering what your "big girl job" is going to be after sending your youngest child off to school? Wanting to change careers or do more of what you love? You're not alone! Most women want to find their purpose and passions, but they don't know where to start because they have no idea what they like to do. In this episode you'll learn the first step to figuring out what you're passionate about.
Ever wonder what you're "supposed" to be doing with your life? If there's some purpose you need to fulfill? You're not alone! We've all been there.
In this Happy Bit Jen shares a great tip for taking the leap into the unknown: Follow your Feelings. Our body has an internal GPS to let us know exactly what we should and should not be doing: our emotions. When we do what feels AMAZING, we're on the right track. When something leaves us feeling drained, that's probably not the right path. Follow your feelings.
Resources
When challenges come, we often launch into a state of stress and feelings of inadequacy. In this episode guest Kate Northrup shares why it's critical that we address the HOW of dealing with a situation more than the WHAT. Specifically, Kate believes we need to approach a difficulty from a perspective of love, positivity, presence and intuition. When we do that, everything else is easy.
As an entrepreneur, bestselling author, mother, and activist, Kate Northrup supports ambitious, motivated and successful women to light up the world without burning themselves out in the process. Committed to empowering women entrepreneurs to create their most successful businesses while navigating motherhood, Kate is the founder and CEO of Origin Collective, a monthly membership site where women all over the world gather to achieve more while doing less. Her first book, Money: A Love Story, has been published in 5 languages. Kate’s work has been featured by The Today Show, Yahoo! Finance, Women’s Health, Glamour, and The Huffington Post and she’s spoken to audiences of thousands with Hay House, Wanderlust, YouSANA Health Sciences, and more. Kate lives with her husband and business partner, Mike, and their daughter Penelope in Maine. Join Kate's FREE Sustainable Success Workshop to learn more about the art of balancing mothering and entrepreneurship.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Kate:
“The art of life is not in controlling what happens to us, but in using what happens to us.” - Gloria Steinem
"What I love about this quote is it really articulates what I have been learning, not only in motherhood, but also in business, which is that we cannot actually control what happens in our lives to a large extent, but we can control our response to it, of course, and we can use what happens as fodder for learning information, to change our course of action, and as an opportunity for growth. And so, this just deeply resonates with me for that reason. "
"It's not so much WHAT we do, it’s the HOW we do it. The HOW we do anything is really going to impact our results far more than WHAT that we actually do. We know that from sports psychology that the more awareness and the more consciousness we bring to our workouts for example, and the more presence we bring, the better our results will be."
"Part of what’s been really amazing about scheduling things according to my cycle and also being super clear on when I have childcare and when I don’t and when I’m working and when I’m not, has been that predictability. I find myself so much more calm."
"If we actually honor the gifts of the luteal phase, which is the slowing down, it’s a really great time to wrap up loose ends, to complete projects, to check things off your to-do list. It’s actually a super powerful time to address things, and get done."
"We can’t control the weather, we can’t control our children, we can’t control other people, we can’t control the economy, we can’t control the government… there are so many things that we can’t control, and yet all of us crave predictability. So, for me, you know, I really crave that."
Some of Kate's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Scheduling and calendaring. I think this is a theme of our conversation. I have kept a day timer. I started using a day timer when I was 14 years old. And just having things written down so I could look at the week and kind of know what it’s going to bring and design my life according to what brings me the most joy has been an ongoing habit my entire life."
Easy meal: "We always kind of have like chicken, organic chicken sausage of some kind in the fridge, because it keeps really well and my daughter really loves to eat it. So, if I just don’t have much time, I take a big huge handful of spinach and sauté it up with some organic chicken sausage, cut up in little pieces, and I eat that, and it’s delicious. And it takes me like 5 minutes."
Possession: "I really love my lemon squeezer."
Morning Elixir Recipe: warm water, juice from half a lemon, dash of cayenne pepper, 1/4 t. raw honey, 1 T. apple cider vinegar, and some grated fresh ginger.
Kate's Favorite Books: "Carry on, Warrior by Glennon Doyle-Melton and Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott"
Best advice received: "Read your baby, not a book."
Kate's Happiness Formula:
- Decide that you want to be happy.
- In the moment, whenever you notice that you are veering off ,which is really easy to do, and you’ll do it all day long, look for things in your environment that are pleasing to you, or that you could feel gratitude for.
- Breathing.
- Community. Having a tribe. Investing in the people that you love and those relationships because those bring the greatest joy.
A Challenge from Kate:
"I would like you to try looking at your schedule, and asking yourself if there is anything that you see in the upcoming week that feels heavy or feels draining to you like is it something that you just look at and, 'Uhhh, I don’t want to do that.' And if there is something, then I would ask you to look at it and ask could that thing be cancelled? Could it be rescheduled? Could it be shifted in some way? Could that task change? Or could it be delegated? Could somebody else do it?"
Resources
FREE Sustainable Success Workshop
Money, A Love Story: Untangle Your Financial Woes and Create the Life You Really Want
The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine
The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul
The Healthy Godmother (Heidi Symonds)
Carry on, Warrior by Glennon Doyle-Melton
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott
Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:
Some of the world's most successful women, including Judy Faulkner, ranked No. 3 on Forbes' "America's Richest Self-Made Women" list, have one important thing in common: they know how to listen to their inner voice - their intuition, or instinct, or a Higher Power - and make confident, bold decisions with clarity and ease. And they DO NOT allow what "everyone else is doing" to sway their decisions. In this Happy Bit I challenge you to go inward and listen to your gut and allow that inner GPS to empower you to live a confident, unstoppable life.
Your challenge: whenever you feel unsure of what to do, or looking around at what everyone else is doing. STOP! Go inward and listen to God, or the Universe or your gut instinct to find out what YOU need to do.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic... join me in the Vibrant Happy Women Facebook group and share 1 thing you've learned recently as a result of slowing down and truly listening to that inner voice.
Make it a great week!
Resources
The Giving Pledge (Gates & Buffet)
Forbes "Richest Self-Made Women" List
We can transform our health when we follow the holistic approach of Aryurveda, the world's oldest healing system, which focuses on mind, body, spirit and the 5 senses. In this episode Ananta Ripa Ajmera shares that health is our birthright - our true nature - and shares numerous practices from her book The Ayurveda Way: 108 Practices from the World's Oldest Healing System for Better Sleep, Less Stress, Optimal Digestion, and More. Ananta brings home the idea that true health focuses on so much more than just our body and definitely includes elements of "healthy selfishness" and cultivating a relationship with our own higher selves.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera is committed to making Ayurveda understandable and applicable to a diverse, modern audience. She teaches Ayurveda lifestyle, stress management, and meditation at yoga and business conferences and for clients including ABC News, Stanford University, and the California probation departments. Ajmera studied yoga and Ayurveda with Acharya Shunya and serves as Branding and Yoga Studies Director for Vedika Global, Acharya Shunya’s school. Her writing is popular on MindBodyGreen, Elephant Journal, and The Huffington Post.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Ananta:
"When you sow a thought, you reap an action. When you sow an action, you reap a habit. You sow a habit, you reap a character. And when you sow a character, you reap a destiny." ~the Upanishads
"We are so often taught to believe that everything worth having in this life is somewhere outside, and it has to be attained by doing something. By affirming that actually everything that I am searching for lies within me, it's just a very empowering way to start the day."
"Ayurveda is the science of life. It is as old as life itself. Ayurveda looks at four dimensions of the human being: the body, mind, spirit, and the five senses."
"Ayurveda is defined as that science which teaches us how to distinguish between those actions that bring us joy and those that bring us sorrow. Because joy-filled actions are what give us health, and, you know, they define the joy-giving actions as those that benefit not only ourselves but others, so, compassion and service are actually an inherent part of the practice and lifestyle of Ayurveda."
"Health is your birthright. Health is your true nature. And I think, for me, being able to connect with that and being able to connect with the idea of freeing my spirit has been the key to developing the willpower and the strength to be able to make diet and lifestyle changes which Ayurveda recommends for being able to bring my body then into balance. For me the suffering that I had really started in my mind. And it started from just being disconnected."
"We kind of know that certain habits are not helpful for us. We know better, but we don't do better."
"Go slow. Really go slow and make anything that you choose sustainable."
Some of Ananta's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Waking up early by 6 o'clock in the morning."
Easy meal: "Khichadi. It is an extremely healthy recipe, and it's really delicious, and it is something that is particularly good in detoxing the body, so it's great in the spring season."
Favorite kitchen gadget: Magic Bullet blender.
Emma's Favorite Books: "Ayurveda Lifestyle Wisdom: A Complete Prescription to Optimize Your Health, Prevent Disease, and Live with Vitality and Joy"
Best advice received: "Give when feeling full."
Ananta's Happiness Formula:
"I'm happiest when I listen to my intuition."
A Challenge from Ananta:
"To really contemplate one thing that you would like to start to incorporate into your life to benefit your health, body, mind, and your spirit. And really think it through before you commit to it. So, don't make it like a New Year's resolution, but really commit to a mindful intention or resolution that you want to do. And then I challenge you to write it down, and then make that your first step to manifesting whatever your intention is, and revisit it, and rewrite it, and really, you know, take that one thing and plant it like a seed in the garden of your mind, and see what kind of beautiful flowers start to grow in your life as a result."
Resources
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
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You might know your happiness is important, yet you feel guilty taking time for yourself. In this Happy Bit I share an analogy that will help. Have you ever considered that women are like the sun? Learn how radiating more happiness will change everything in your "solar system."
Do you ever feel trapped by your busy life? Desperate for a little more freedom? Beth Kempton felt the same way. While pregnant with her second child Beth found herself completely burnt out and feeling trapped by her busy schedule. Beth arranged her affairs as they say, and took a 5-month break to relax. During this time she did a lot of thinking and figured out the 8 keys to finding freedom, which she shares with us in this episode.
Beth Kempton is a fierce champion of women living free and happy lives, doing what they love. If you were to read her resume from her early career it would include stints working for the UN and at many of the world's top sports events like the Olympics, hosting her own TV show, and the fact that she speaks Japanese, but the most important thing to know about her life now is that she is on a mission to inspire all of us to fly free. For the past six years she has run a company called Do What You Love which has helped thousands of people to create a life that makes them happy, through online courses and retreats. She is also a wife and mother of two sweet girls, and has recently become a Hay House author. Her first book 'Freedom Seeker: Live more. Worry less. Do what you love.' has just come out.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Beth:
"What you can do, or dream you can, begin it; boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." ~Goethe
"If you can see something in your mind's eye, then you almost already know how to do that thing. And when you really do that you become bold and you take those difficult steps and you start to see magic unfold."
"For the first time I could see what cage I was trapped in, what it was that was holding me back from the fuller life I used to know...I was just this shell of myself, feeling guilty all the time, not running my business properly, not being a good mother...I was never where I was supposed to be. So if I was playing on the carpet with my baby my hands would be in the game and my head would be in my inbox."
"What I discovered was that the key was taking my mind to somewhere where I could get head space and heart space."
"It was almost like I saw a free version of myself out in the world and I asked myself, 'What did she have that I don't have now?' And realized that it was space. She had a vast amount of space, both physical space in the places she was visiting, but also space in her day, space in her mind, quiet... And I had none of those things. I was very heavily pregnant so it wasn't really realistic to get on a plane and go to Siberia. But I thought, 'How can I make some space?' and I started really small with 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there... I would just go outside and stand on the grass and look at the sun or have a cup of tea and read Flow Magazine. And then that would build up, I'd go to a yoga class or spend half a day walking on the beach. And that made a big difference and I felt better."
Some of Beth's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "I'm really bad at habits. I have a lot of good intentions. I think my lust for adventure and for wanting things to be fresh and new means I'm very, very bad at habits. But I do know that I'm much better in going through my day when I'm organized, so I do like to sit down and plan my week and have a moment of quiet with a cup of tea."
Easy meal: "Miso and rice. I lived in Japan so it's definitely my favorite."
Favorite kitchen gadget: "Rice cooker."
Emma's Favorite Books: The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. Phenomenal by Leigh Ann Henion
Best advice received: "Moisturize your neck every day."~Beth's Mom "Keep your eye on the prize. Don't let other people's opinions of how big your idea can be LIMIT your opinion of how big your idea can be."~Lord David Putnam
Beth's Happiness Formula:
"Love + Adventure + Freedom."
"Happiness is something that happens on the side when you aim to feel free."
A Challenge from Beth:
"Ask yourself today what it is that's making you feel trapped and to take yourself to a place when you've felt free in your life and look at the difference and think what can you do right now, in this moment, to feel more like you did the last time you felt free."
Resources
Freedom Seeker: Live More. Worry Less. Do What You Love
The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. Phenomenal by Leigh Ann Henion
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
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The sense of achievement and accomplishment that come with setting goals can be amazing... BUT it can also leave us feeling like we are always lacking something because there's always one more goal we need to work on. Learn how setting an intention is different from setting goals and how intentions can dramatically improve your joy in the journey (rather than always reaching for a new destination).
After a fantastic career as a high-level lawyer, a marriage that looked great from the outside and all the normal definitions of success, Emma Bell realized she wasn’t happy and that she didn’t even really know herself. In this touching episode Emma shares how she learned to be compassionate with herself and live authentically, which set off a chain of events that included becoming an authenticity and mindfulness coach, finding the love of her life (who complements rather than “completes” her) and having the thrill of helping hundreds of other women make the same journey to self love.
Emma Bell lives in a beautiful Scottish village with her husband, Graeme, and her jack russell, Buddy. After seventeen years as a corporate lawyer, the high pressure/long hours culture forced her to realize she was a square peg squeezing into a round hole. She worked as a judge for seven years, during which time she published her book, The True You, and began coaching. She now pursues her passions of writing, teaching authenticity, and motorbiking with her husband around the world.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Emma:
"David Foster Wallace said, 'You will become way less concerned about what others think of you when you realize how seldom they do.' I just love that quote because it is a reminder to me not to waste a second worrying about what others think of me. You have to live your life with yourself first. I think being true to your values and your principles is what matters most, and it is something I spent 30 years learning."
"For me, it was the point which I realized I had absolutely no idea who I was, that was important to me. I realized I had been living according to everyone else's idea of success. So, that was really when I realized that I needed to get to know myself."
"I had always been so hard on myself. I was not working hard enough, or I was not trying hard enough or I was a failure or.... I started to change those messages... then self-care becomes a lot easier."
"Be clear about what success means to you. My definition of success is having the peace of mind of knowing that I have been the best of which I am capable in every single moment. I have given my full self, I have given my heart, I have given my love in every single moment. That is what success means for me."
"Every single day, just take one step toward your idea of success. Just do one thing that moves you toward your idea of success. And those are, for me, the daily rituals."
Some of Emma's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Mindfulness and getting up every morning and meditating."
Easy meal: "Salmon with mango and avocado salsa. Chop up a mango. Chop up an avocado. Put in some red onion. Get the juice of two limes. Cush it all together and serve it along side baked salmon."
Possession: "My husband. He is an awesome cook."
Emma's Favorite Books: "Wishes Fulfilled by Wayne Dyer"
Best advice received: "Emma, you can do everything you want- just not all at the same time. "
Emma's Happiness Formula:
1. Being mindful
2. Being authentic
3. Being self-caring
4. Being giving.
5. Being grateful.
A Challenge from Emma:
I would challenge your listeners to spend 10 minutes being mindful.
Resources
The True You - sign up and get a free copy of the Emma's book
Wishes Fulfilled by Wayne Dyer
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
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Got Overwhelm? In this episode Jen challenges you to become more of a minimalist and to begin the process of decluttering so you can have more energy for experiences and people you love.
Ever wish you had more friends who really had your back? In my interview with Lisa-Jo Baker you'll learn the secrets of being a great friend and developing friendships that stand the test of time and distance.
Lisa-Jo Baker has been the community manager for (in)courage, an online hoe for women all over the world, for nearly a decade. She's also the author of Surprised by Motherhood and her writings have been syndicated from New Zealand to New York. She lives just outside Washington, DC, with her husband and their 3 very loud kids, where she connects, encourages, and champions women in person and through her blog lisajobaker.com
Nuggets of Wisdom from Lisa-Jo:
"The shortest distance between strangers and friends is a shared awkward story."
"Time is a gift from God...If we really want to connect with our friends, we have to be willing to be inconvenienced. To make time. Because time is the thing we do not always have enough of. I spent the last few years working on this book. So, I have spent a lot of time studying Jesus' model of friendship. And the thing that is so fascinating to me is He was never too busy, and he was constantly interrupted by people."
"I think what we do not realize about friendship is if we want it to grow deeper, we have to be willing to be inconvenienced by the people around us. And sometimes that is just our own kids, but I think often on a day to day basis, what it looks like for me now is when a friend calls or messages or texts, the neighbor kids come over and knock at the door when I am making dinner, to open the door, to make time to stop what I think is really busy and important, for the people that are right in front of me. "
"I think you have to feed them (friends). They are like plants. They require water and sun and food and all that good stuff. Anytime we are not sowing into our friendship, then it has the opportunity to just kind of wither away."
"While it is good to remain intentional and that is what we do, I think it is also important to have an agreed upon breathing room. So what we say in our friendship is that we believe in guilt-free friendship, which means if you have not had time to respond to that email or that message or that group, or you have to miss the last gathering, nobody gets to call you out on it or be mad at you or make you feel guilty or be passive-aggressive towards you. Because friendship cannot live in that kind of atmosphere either. So, say I am looking for a friendship, that I am trying to be a friend, that's not your skinny-jeans version of friendship, but more like your sweat-pants version of friendship. That leaves room to breathe and to connect."
"When our friends know us, they love us for who we are, not some version of ourselves we are trying to pretend to be. And so being honest with who we are is a gift that we give our friends. And being in a healthy place and being a friend to ourself first, I really do think is what enables us to be a good friend to others."
"It should not be easy to unfriend people... The reality of friendship is that it happens on a slow daily basis between small groups of women who do life together, and that there is such a reward in that."
Some of Lisa-Jo's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "I am okay with there being a certain degree of chaos in each of my children's bedrooms, but I need the main living area to be cleared off every night. I cannot handle it if we go to bed with chaos there."
Easy meal: "The Four Ingredient Cookbook. Crunchy Oven-Roasted Chicken. Chicken breast covered in smashed up cornflakes and baked in an oven for an hour. "
Possession: "Milk Frother - $7. It is a little hand-held one. $10 Stainless-steel milk jug."
Lisa-Jo's Favorite Books: "Trilogy: The Riddlemaster of Hed by Patricia A. McKillip"
Best advice received: "You think love is a feeling. Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice."
Lisa-Jo's Happiness Formula:
"I am happiest when I am by myself watching Netflix alone. I am happiest though with a few very good friends who know me inside and out."
A Challenge from Lisa-Jo:
"What is one thing you could do to be inconvenienced this week for someone else?"
Resources
Trilogy: The Riddlemaster of Hed by Patricia A. McKillip
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:
Want to increase self love, self worth and happiness? Then you've got to let go of that emotional baggage. I tell you how in this Happy Bit.
jenriday.com/detox
Orly Wahba found herself feeling shy, lonely and ignored in high school, until one day she looked in the mirror and remembered a dream she’d had as a child to make a difference in the world. She literally changed her personality and life, and began doing everything she could to be the type of friend she’d wished she had in high school. Listen to hear Orly’s experiences touching the hearts of 7 years worth of middle school students, creating a viral video that has been watched by 26 million+ people, and what she’s doing today to continue to spread this boomerang of kindness.
Orly Wahba is an author, speaker, educator, entrepreneur and community activist who began her career in Brooklyn, NY, where she taught Middle School children to embrace unity, build self-esteem, and be an influence for good. She’s the founder of Life Vest Inside, a non-profit with a mission to empower people of all backgrounds to lead a life of kindness. LVI shot to national attention when her film, Kindness Boomerang, went viral, landing her a spot on TED. In her spare time Orly loves sports, music, movies, figure skating, and above all, spending time with her family.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Orly:
"Margarette Mead: Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
"Showing that each and every person makes a difference matters in a huge way. Everybody has something they can contribute."
"When a person understands their value, they can now understand the value within each and every person."
"To empower people to understand their value, that they matter, that they are significant. And even though they might be one in 7 billion people, the number that matters the most is that they are one. "
"So often people do not understand their value. And if you think about it, if you do not understand your value, there is no way you could understand the value of another."
"Every single second we have a choice, whether to act or to allow things to pass us by."
"When we put something out there positive into the world, the impact and the effects are tremendous, that who we are makes a difference. It does not matter what our job title is but just who we are. That when you walk into the room, you impact people, you affect people. You touch people's lives just by being you. And that is so important to remember."
"I believe that any child can learn, any child can succeed. It is just about being able to get through to them, empowering them enough to believe in themselves when they fail. Because a kid that can do well is going to do well, with or without that grade teacher."
"I know that you are going to try and push me away. I am one person you are never going to push away."
"If you think you cannot do it, you cannot. If you think you dare not, you do not. If you would like to win, and think you cannot, it almost like saying you would not. If you think you lose, you are lost. For out in this world, we find success begins with a fellow's will; it is all in the state of mind. Life's battles do not always go to the stronger or the faster man. For sooner or later, the man who wins is the one who thinks he can."
"I am in the job of falling in love with people more and more each day. You cannot see the beauty in others if you do not stop and see the beauty in yourself. You just cannot. Kindness has to begin with you. If you do not love you, if you do not truly believe that you matter, that you make a difference, that you are not your job, or you are not how much you make, or you are not how many followers you have, if you are only going to look at yourself in those ways, if you do not truly love you, outside of those things, then how are you going to love other people?"
"Loving yourself and building that confidence is not like a video game. It is not like you finish all the levels and then you won. It is a constant battle. There are days where I feel really low on myself. And that is okay, and that is normal. It is not about always being positive, no one can always be positive. It is not real then. You are allowed to feel down. You have to take ownership of those feelings, but you have to be able to be able pick yourself back up afterwards."
"It is very easy to compare ourselves with others, especially in today's world of digital media. When people measure themselves, and measure their value based on numbers (how many followers, how many likes, how many friends..), those things make no difference. It is a facade; it is so fake; what does it mean? It might for the moment make us feel good. But the only person that could really make you feel good about you is you. Happiness comes from you. It comes from inside. If your happiness is going to depend on a person or on a thing, then it is going to be something that will never become attainable because it is going to be something you are constantly chasing. But if it is happiness based on something that is within you, it is based inside of you, then it is a choice that you make every single day. It is not easy. But nothing that is worthwhile is necessarily going to be easy."
"Our ability to stay afloat in a world that sometimes seems to be pulling us downward is inside of us. It is through the kindness that we give to others and through the kindness that others give to us that we keep each other afloat in this world because we cannot prevent the obstacles and the mishaps and curve balls from coming our way. They are going to come. But what we can do, what we have the power to do, what is in our ability to do is to throw somebody a life vest. A lifeline of kindness. That even though they are still surrounded by those troubles, they are still surrounded by those waters, that life vest is the difference between life and death. It gives them the hope to know that it is going to be okay. "
"...it is not huge gestures, it is the simple things that make the difference. And what we find often is that when we give of ourselves, we actually receive so much more. In a sense, it is like blowing air in our own life vest to keep us strong. When we give, that is the air that we blow into our life vest, making our life vest bigger and stronger, so we can then help others. Because when a person is engaged in active giving or in active kindness, then we feel so good, and there is scientific evidence and proof behind this. We release endorphins. People are less stressed. They live a longer life."
"Confidence comes from a place of strength. A person of confidence will make you feel like you matter. They will make you feel included. They will make you feel important. Arrogance comes from weakness. A person of arrogance will make you feel fearful, will make you feel like you are not good enough, will make you feel intimidated. That is the true test."
"I had to learn to be okay with being alone and still loving myself."
"Use positive energy to propel you forward. Negativity will only lead you down the road of negativity. The more you start looking for good, the more good you are going to see."
Some of Orly's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Prayer is a very big thing for me. That has kept me the most grounded. It is my guiding star. Honestly, through all the hardships."
"From Friday night to Saturday night. No phone. No television. No talking about work. No any sort of electric things. It is just being with my family. Being with myself. Connecting to and reflecting on the previous week as to what happened. How I have grown. To have a great time of connectivity and just hanging out with family and playing board games and stuff."
Easy meal: "Fish and beans."
Possession: "Magic Bullet"
Orly's Favorite Books: "The Garden of Emuna: A Practical Guide to Life by Shalom Arush" and "The Secret by Rhonda Byrne"
Best advice received: "Believe in myself and to keep pushing forward. And to know that everything happens for a reason." - Dad
Orly's Happiness Formula:
1. Recognizing you matter. Self-Value component. Self-Love.
2. Pursuing your passion.
3. Opening yourself up to ways that you can offer a lending hand to others. Giving kindness. Engaging in kindness.
A Challenge from Orly:
"Catching Kindness cards. The purpose of these kindness cards, when you see somebody doing it--an act of kindness for someone else--you give somebody a card, and it says on it, 'Tag you're it. You have been caught in the act. Now it is your turn to catch someone else in the act.' Exercise your eye muscle, get out there and spot kindness that is happening around you. Not that is happening to you. It is easy to see kindness happening to you, but the more you start becoming aware of kindness that is happening--good things that are happening in the world--a lot more goodness is going to be reflected back to you. Have at least one positive thing a day that you catch people doing for others."
Resources
Orly's Book: Kindness Boomerang: How to Save the World (and Yourself) Through 365 Daily Acts
Viral Video: Kindness Boomerang - "One Day"
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:
Sometimes our lives just don't feel "right." We just feel blah, or angry, or depressed... just plain out of alignment.
Instead of viewing this as a horrible thing, what would happen if we can view this as a SIGNAL - an opportunity to make a shift and get things back into alignment.
That difficult moment suddenly becomes an opportunity... and a gift.
www.jenriday.com/happy55
Megan Tenney shares her experience with forgiveness, choosing to be happy, and taking quality time for what's important, including a bath with a boot, vacation, and playing with her kids.
Megan Tenney is the author/owner of ShapingUpToBeAMom.com, where the goal is, "Life, easier. You, happier!" Her mission is to help other busy moms achieve their goals, while sharing her own adventures in parenting, fitness, travel, and checking off her bucket list. Born and raised on the shores of Maine, she relocated after college to the Arizona desert, where she now lives with her husband and four kids: Carter, Vanessa, Harrison, and Melody...
Nuggets of Wisdom from Megan:
"Just remember, this too shall pass away."
"I needed to learn how to forgive someone. That is why I had to go through those experiences."
"Your happiness is your own responsibility. You cannot depend on someone else to make you happy."
"Be easy on yourself. Don't jump right to feeling guilty for having negative thoughts toward someone. I think, to a certain extent, we can have power over our own feelings, and to a certain extent we cannot. And I think feelings might just come to you, like you get angry or you feel guilty, but then, you can fan the flames of that feeling or you can redirect your thoughts and try to focus on something else. It takes effort and it takes humility."
"One of the questions you [Jen] ask, the one that left the most lasting impact on me, was, 'At the end of your life, when you turn around and look back, what do you want to have done, or what do you want people to remember you for?' That made it so clear to me. Family. That is my absolute first priority."
Some of Megan's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "It has contributed to my sanity. I take a bath almost everyday. I just relax in the bathtub with a book and I do it almost everyday."
Easy meal: "Crockpot meal. So I make a pasta meal with a jar of marinara sauce. I used maybe four fifths of the marinara sauce. And another night, I do English muffin pizzas, and I use the leftover sauce."
Possession: "Crockpot. Vitamix."
Megan's Favorite Books: "'The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up,' by Marie Kondo, and 'Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment,'
by Tal Ben-Shahar."
"There are people that only focus on the present, and they do whatever it takes to make them feel good right now. Whether that's a bacon cheese burger, or sitting and watching TV, or whatever it is, and they don't plan for the future, and so they don't plan to be happier in the future. And then there are people that only plan for the future, and they deprive themselves of the moment. They eat only salads, or they work really hard and never take a vacation, and it's all for someday down the road. He [Tal Ben-Shahar] said that the happiest formula is to try to get both of those things, to do, ideally, one thing that will benefit you now and will benefit you later."
Best advice received: "Treat others the way you want to be treated."
Megan's Happiness Formula:
"I am happiest when I am being productive, planning a trip, and ending the day with a bath and a good book."
A Challenge from Megan:
"Plan a trip. It doesn't have to be Disney World. You don't have to get on a plane. It could be to the other end of town, to a restaurant you have never been to before."
Resources
My Konmari Closet (or Who Bought All These Clothes)
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:
Boundaries are all about where you end and the other person begins. Learn how to strengthen your boundaries through self awareness, clear communication, and consistent consequences so you can preserve (and increase!) your energy and happiness.
jenriday.com/happy54
In part 2 of a 2-part series, I share a painful event from my past involving a miscarriage and the marriage struggles that intensified as a result. Listen to Part 1 here.
And, for fun, here's my bio: (Every other guest has one, so I want to fit in with the "cool kids.") Jen is a 42-year-old mom of six and Women's Happiness Expert who lives just outside of Madison, Wisconsin with her family. Jen was raised on a farm with the values of hard work and honesty, and today Jen's priorities are spirituality, family, health and helping women find happiness (in that order). In her free time Jen enjoys yoga, meditation, time in nature, and curling up with a great book.
In this Happy Bit: "It all started with my son plopping a steaming (and HUGE) bowl of yummy goodness in front of me. He had cooked sweet potatoes, spinach, mushrooms, onions, hot dogs and a metric ton of garlic in some sizzling coconut oil... and it was AMAZING."
Our massage table is covered - COVERED - in books from various podcast guests and things I ordered on Amazon months ago but failed to read. But since I disccovered audio books from Audible, things are so much better! I can "read" again. ;) Because I love them so much, I've teamed up with audible.com to offer you a free audio book. Grab yours at vibranthappybook.com. You’ll also get a free thirty-day membership, too. Sweet!
Now on to our Happy Bit.
It all started with my son plopping a steaming (and HUGE) bowl of yummy goodness in front of me. He had cooked sweet potatoes, spinach, mushrooms, onions, hot dogs and a metric ton of garlic in some sizzling coconut oil... and it was AMAZING.
For a nearly 16-year-old, this boy has mad skillz!
But sadly I tend to get more caught up in the fact he didn't empty the trash or clean his room.
Always the LACK, the scarcity...
When we stop and focus on the good, everything feels to much better, from our emotions to the entire tone of the relationship.
One way to focus even more on the good is to create a vivid vision of the future - to take the good things now and play them out and see exactly what they might look like in the future.
For example, maybe my son will be an amazing chef, or a fantastic cook for his family... one good thing leads to another, and when we create a vivid mental picture of all the goodness that could happen in the future, we train our brains to keep going. It's fun!
Also, I share how you can get your hands on the Self Care Toolkit available at jenriday.com/selfcare.
Grab yours before it goes away: jenriday.com/selfcare
Make it a great week!
And remember to get your free audio book at vibranthappybook.com.
In part 1 of a 2-part series, I share a past life struggle involving a miscarriage and the marriage struggles that intensified as a result.
And, for fun, here's my bio (every other guest has one, so I want to fit in with the "cool kids."): Jen is a 42-year-old mom of 6 and Women's Happiness Expert who lives just outside of Madison, Wisconsin with her family. Jen was raised on a farm with the values of hard work and honesty, and today Jen's priorities are spirituality, family, healthy and helping women find happiness (in that order). In her free time Jen enjoys yoga, meditation, time in nature, and curling up with a great book.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Jen:
After I clawed myself out of the emotional pit that resulted from events on the most horrible day of my life (so far), I learned several things that helped me let go of the guilt I used to feel when I took time for myself:
- I'm loved and I'm worthy.
- I'm 100% in charge of my life and happiness.
- The greatest gift I can give my loved ones is my own happiness.
- I'm happiest when I take care of myself first (and others second).
- The Wheel of Happiness is the perfect guide to guide my use of time so I take care of ALL aspects of myself.
A Challenge from Jen:
Grab the Self Care Toolkit and learn the 5 things that will help you get rid of guilt... sweet!
Then... email me at support@jenriday.com and share 1) one thing you struggle with and 2) 1 thing from the Wheel of Happiness you're going to focus on to help you take better care of yourself so you can face your struggles with strength. You can ask to remain anonymous, or, at the other extreme you can volunteer to jump on a Skype audio call so I can record your voice for Part 2 of this episode, airing next week!
Resources
The 8 components of the Wheel of Happiness: Body, Mind, Emotion, Spirit, Contribution, Relationships, Outdoors, Resources.
Listen to Part 2 to get the rest of the story next week.
Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:
Do you start the day YOUR way?