One evening Lauren spent $600 on clothes. When she got home, she left the purchases in the car so her husband wouldn’t find out. The next day she decided she had to tell him what she had done, and how it was only the tip of the iceberg of the $40,000 of debt she had racked up. “When I told him, he just stood there staring at me for a while, then he said, ‘I forgive you. Let’s get through this together.’” Fast forward to today: Lauren and her husband are not only out of debt, but Lauren is teaching others how to do it, too. Lauren is the author of ‘The Recovering Spender’ and blogs at LaurenGreutman.com. Listen to find out the 3 rules that help her stay out of debt today.
"When the pain of staying broke becomes greater than the pain of changing your spending habits, that is when you will make a change. " "A lot of the debt was because I got us into the debt and never told him about it because I did not want to burden him. It was not that I was like trying to be sneaky. I just did not want to burden him. I would just say, 'Okay, it's what everybody does. I am just having a terrible time dealing with it so it is my fault, so I just need to handle it and get us out of it....'"
"I started feeling really guilty about it. I started thinking like, 'Okay, I hid this from him because I didn't want to fight with him... He knew we were in debt, but he did not know how much. But he knew we were in debt and here I am, going and spending $600 on clothing and now I am hiding it from him. This is not just good for our marriage and our future. The next day I decided to come clean to him and tell him all the debt that we had. And make a real difference. I felt like for the first time I realized that I could not do it myself, like I needed his help to handle this and to have somebody to talk to about it. It is really like - not only it is lonely and stressful but it is just damaging to your marriage if you have this big elephant in the room that you can never talk about it."
"He said, 'I forgive you, let us get through this together.' And so those are the words that changed everything. That was 9 years ago and from then on we got out of debt in 2 years. We just had a passion for teaching other people all the mistakes that we went through."
"I have a spending problem. I think I always have the personality to be addicted to spending. And because of that I have to know what boundaries I have to set up around myself, so I do not spend money. Like 3 rules that I have. #1.) Do not go to Target alone. My second one, if I do any online shopping, I use a prepaid debit card, so I have to fund it beforehand. And #3, I do not use credit cards. So, those are my three big boundaries I had to put around myself, to keep myself safe. So, yes, I would definitely say, it is an addiction of some sort."
"The biggest thing that they need to learn is how to set a realistic budget. For years, I was so terrified of the B word. I cringed on the inside. But once I saw that a budget can actually bring freedom to me, it really kind of opened up my eyes to all that's possible. For so many years, I spent money without knowing what was going on and, yes, that was fun and great, but then, you sit down at the end of the day, and you are like, 'Oh my gosh, I spent this much money. I did not know that I spent this much money! I don't know where it went. And now, you don't have money for your bills.' So, I found out that budgeting actually gives me freedom to spend what I want to without giving me that guilt and feeling of depletion at the end of the day. I think people need to set that realistic budget, and it can really really help them."
Personal habit: "That I can turn work off. I think that is a big thing. As an entrepreneur who works online, the temptation to work all day and all night and every weekend is there, you know, in your face all the time. We finally got an office outside of our house and that has been really imperative to my success with everything that I do online. I got so sick of being half on, half off all day long, that setting it up this way has really kept us very productive during our work hours and also being able to be a husband and wife at night and hang out with the kids, go out to dinner, and do fun stuff together without feeling guilty that I have so much work to do."
Easy meal: Homemade Spaghetti Sauce
Lauren's Favorite Book: For the Love by Jen Hatmaker
Best advice received: "Be kind to others because they will be kind to you."
"I am happiest when I stick to my budget, I spend time with family, and I sleep."
"I want everybody to think about their values and if their spending is a reflection of that value system. Because whether you are in debt or not, you can always do something better with your finances. It always comes down to your value system."
The Recovering Spender (Lauren's book)
You Need a Budget: YNAB.com
You know when you feel overwhelmed by mess, and noise and the general chaos of life? Join me for the 1-hour Recharge Challenge!
Angela Roberts had a dream to become a food blogger, so one day she jumped in and simply did it and has been more energetic, happy and thrilled with life than ever, mainly because she believes she's living her true purpose. In this episode Angela describes how we can know what our life's purpose is because once we've found it, we become a person who is thrilled to get out of bed in the morning to work more towards fulfilling that purpose.
Angela Roberts, is publisher, founder of SpinachTiger.com, a food, blog with over 900 recipes, and beautiful food photography. Angela has moved from the corporate world to decorative painting to food blogging, where she feels she has found her true creative zone. Angela has an M.A. in clinical psychology and has a great interest in family issues, especially the role that food and dining plays in the dynamics of family life.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Angela:
"Do the right thing because it is the right thing."
"Sometimes people do the right thing for the wrong reason. They do the right things to get ahead, kind of maybe the wrong kind of ambition."
"I really believe as human beings, God has created us to be on a particular path. "When we are on the path that is the right path for our DNA for who we are, then we are anxious to get up in the morning. And when you do not want to get up in the morning, there is something wrong. And that's where I was. I was really sad. I remember talking to people, not feeling a lot of hope. And that was until I found my next new reinvention of myself."I said to myself, "That is what I am going to do. I am going to be a food blogger," and that was 8 years ago, and I have never lost that buzz. And that is how I know I am doing what I am supposed to do."
"There is something that is so you. It is just YOU. Everyone has a dream. If you have some kind of dream. Just do one thing that starts it, and you may fail. Just try something and then let it evolve and be willing to embrace the journey and not the goal."
“I have a strong spiritual life that keeps me grounded and keeps defeating thoughts at bay. I have to remember, I could be just one blog post away from a big break. If I am doing what I’m happy doing, and I am excited, that is all I need to do.”
“Tomorrow’s always going to be better.”
“Even though I am not a Millennial, I do not want people to think I cannot do technology.”
Some of Angela's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "For my whole entire life, I have been a person who exercises consistently, and I think that it helps your brain. I just think it helps me feel really good."
Easy meal: "A little olive oil in the pan, some chopped onions, some ground beef and some frozen peas. Salt and pepper. And then you can add in what you want, you can put in rice." Recession Delicious – Italian Ground Beef, Peas and Onions
Possession: "Silicon spatula from Oxo, for eggs or frittatas. It works for everything. The big one."
Angela's Favorite Book: Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength Book by John Tierney and Roy Baumeister
Best advice received: "Do not ever put anything in writing you do not want the whole world to see."
Angela's Happiness Formula:
"I am happiest when I have a purpose and when I act on it, when I work with intention and I live on a schedule."
A Challenge from Angela:
"I challenge all the listener's today to take one day this week or next week and fail at something. Do something you have always wanted to do."
Recession Delicious – Italian Ground Beef, Peas and Onions
Fluffy Southern Biscuits
Grandmother's Tomato Sauce
Red Beet Smoothie
On this HappyBit I talk about the "death spiral" of negativity, false humility, and celebrating our strengths so we can pull out of that nosedive of negativity more quickly.
April Boyd faced the unthinkable when her newborn daughter Nora suddenly stopped breathing at just 1 day of age. In this episode, April shares her story of going into a very dark place after her daughter died and slowly coming to the realization that she had to make a decision to claw her way out and not let her daughter’s life end as a tragedy. Instead, April chose to turn her daughter’s brief and beautiful life into a legacy. April created the Love & Loss Project to help break the isolation and silence surrounding loss.
April Boyd is a private practice therapist with clients across the globe, creator of the Baby Loss Survival Guide and the founder of the Love & Loss Project, an online comfort & inspiration station for women who have experienced the loss of a baby or pregnancy. When April is not doing the work she loves to do, you might find her on the top of a paddleboard or the side of mountain with her hunky boyfriend and her six pound Yorkie Sasha.
"We are here for a good time, not a long time." - song lyrics by Trooper
"I think so often we get caught up in so many things that pull us so many different directions, that we really forget that ultimately, our time is in fact limited and what we do with it, matters greatly. "
"The most important thing is really making the decision."
"What I was afraid of is that if I just continue to self-destruct and crumble and be lost that story that would go on to be told about my daughter and for my circle of friends and for my family it would ultimately be some version that she was reason why her mother was now a complete mess. And I did not want to allow that to become her legacy. And so I really committed to the idea that I was going to force myself back to life. I was going force myself to get back to a state of being able to experience things like joy again because that is how I needed to honor her and to make sure that the tragedy of her story really became a love story."
"First, know that you are going to go through this. And this is going to change you in some ways. But we still have control over which direction this is going to take us."
"So often, we have that tendency to just want to outrun the pain and outrun what hurts and distract ourselves and stay busy and avoid it. But I believe in many ways, that even though that it is useful at times, if that is our main go-to strategy all the time, then what we are really doing is just prolonging that agony. That which we resist gets stronger. So instead, I think we really need to give ourselves permission to open ourselves to this, to give our own selves the care and comfort that we deserve and to make our own healing a priority."
"Grief functions. It is such a magnifying glass. And it really just illuminates and brings to the surface some of our longstanding patterns, some of the longstanding pains that get in our way."
"Perfectionism is just fear in really good shoes." - Elizabeth Gilbert
"We need to burn off that tension and that stress."
"Your body is your compass. It knows your truth. It knows what feels good to you. It knows your answer."
Personal habit: Working out.
Easy meal: Steamed kale and carrots. Mixed with almond-based dressing.
Possession: Spiralizer. Cellphone for ordering takeout.
April's Favorite Book: The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte
Best advice received: "Your body is your compass. You need to tune in to what your gut is telling you and that is your guide."
"Be as compassionate as possible to both yourself and others because at the end of the day, we are all just doing our best and that is going to look different one day to the next. And we really do not have any idea what someone else is going through behind closed doors. And so I think if we just kind of allow ourselves to approach life with just a bit more compassion that can save us a lot of more frustration and anger and drama."
"Be the guardian of your own health and happiness. Focus on the pieces that you can control and bring your attention to that."
"Choose joy. I do not think that happiness is just an accident. I think that it is a choice."
"Think about the one thing that you have been avoiding. What is that thing that you have been procrastinating on, that you know is calling your name? Whether that is a class that you want to take, whether that is a change that you want to make in your work day, whether that is a conversation that you have been putting off having that you know that you need to express and get out there with somebody that you care about. Do that thing that you have been putting off doing and get it done now."
In this HappyBit I discuss how we're 100% responsible for the energy we bring to our relationships. Learn 3 steps to help you stay more positive.
Susie Parker had an OK time teaching her first child to sleep, but when baby #2 arrived, she knew her whole life was about to get harder because, as she shares in this episode, "She just stared at me with these beady little eyes and I knew this baby was not going to sleep." Get ideas on teaching any child to sleep, as well as making time to take care of yourself in the process, too. Susie's upbeat approach to things will have you laughing and feeling like sleep deprivation is survivable.
Do you know yourself? I mean, do you REALLY know yourself? The things that energize you and drain you, the things that make your heart sing and the things that deflate you? In this HappyBit I challenge you to live more authentically.
Amiyrah Martin shares her story of attempting to leave for work one morning, only to find that her car had been repossessed. With $36,000 of debt, Amiyrah and her husband took a hard look at their lifestyle, made massive changes and paid off their debt in 2 years. Now, years later, they are paying CASH for their first home. Listen as Amiyrah shares some tips about having a frugal but love-centered lifestyle, all while being a service-minded, generous woman.
Amiyrah is the owner of 4 Hats and Frugal, a website dedicated to teaching families how to have fun on a dime, be a "baller" on a budget, and live a full life on less. She's a wife, mother of 3, member of the Air National Guard, New Jersey native, and self-proclaimed Nutella addict.