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Orly Wahba found herself feeling shy, lonely and ignored in high school, until one day she looked in the mirror and remembered a dream she’d had as a child to make a difference in the world. She literally changed her personality and life, and began doing everything she could to be the type of friend she’d wished she had in high school. Listen to hear Orly’s experiences touching the hearts of 7 years worth of middle school students, creating a viral video that has been watched by 26 million+ people, and what she’s doing today to continue to spread this boomerang of kindness.
Orly Wahba is an author, speaker, educator, entrepreneur and community activist who began her career in Brooklyn, NY, where she taught Middle School children to embrace unity, build self-esteem, and be an influence for good. She’s the founder of Life Vest Inside, a non-profit with a mission to empower people of all backgrounds to lead a life of kindness. LVI shot to national attention when her film, Kindness Boomerang, went viral, landing her a spot on TED. In her spare time Orly loves sports, music, movies, figure skating, and above all, spending time with her family.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Orly:
"Margarette Mead: Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
"Showing that each and every person makes a difference matters in a huge way. Everybody has something they can contribute."
"When a person understands their value, they can now understand the value within each and every person."
"To empower people to understand their value, that they matter, that they are significant. And even though they might be one in 7 billion people, the number that matters the most is that they are one. "
"So often people do not understand their value. And if you think about it, if you do not understand your value, there is no way you could understand the value of another."
"Every single second we have a choice, whether to act or to allow things to pass us by."
"When we put something out there positive into the world, the impact and the effects are tremendous, that who we are makes a difference. It does not matter what our job title is but just who we are. That when you walk into the room, you impact people, you affect people. You touch people's lives just by being you. And that is so important to remember."
"I believe that any child can learn, any child can succeed. It is just about being able to get through to them, empowering them enough to believe in themselves when they fail. Because a kid that can do well is going to do well, with or without that grade teacher."
"I know that you are going to try and push me away. I am one person you are never going to push away."
"If you think you cannot do it, you cannot. If you think you dare not, you do not. If you would like to win, and think you cannot, it almost like saying you would not. If you think you lose, you are lost. For out in this world, we find success begins with a fellow's will; it is all in the state of mind. Life's battles do not always go to the stronger or the faster man. For sooner or later, the man who wins is the one who thinks he can."
"I am in the job of falling in love with people more and more each day. You cannot see the beauty in others if you do not stop and see the beauty in yourself. You just cannot. Kindness has to begin with you. If you do not love you, if you do not truly believe that you matter, that you make a difference, that you are not your job, or you are not how much you make, or you are not how many followers you have, if you are only going to look at yourself in those ways, if you do not truly love you, outside of those things, then how are you going to love other people?"
"Loving yourself and building that confidence is not like a video game. It is not like you finish all the levels and then you won. It is a constant battle. There are days where I feel really low on myself. And that is okay, and that is normal. It is not about always being positive, no one can always be positive. It is not real then. You are allowed to feel down. You have to take ownership of those feelings, but you have to be able to be able pick yourself back up afterwards."
"It is very easy to compare ourselves with others, especially in today's world of digital media. When people measure themselves, and measure their value based on numbers (how many followers, how many likes, how many friends..), those things make no difference. It is a facade; it is so fake; what does it mean? It might for the moment make us feel good. But the only person that could really make you feel good about you is you. Happiness comes from you. It comes from inside. If your happiness is going to depend on a person or on a thing, then it is going to be something that will never become attainable because it is going to be something you are constantly chasing. But if it is happiness based on something that is within you, it is based inside of you, then it is a choice that you make every single day. It is not easy. But nothing that is worthwhile is necessarily going to be easy."
"Our ability to stay afloat in a world that sometimes seems to be pulling us downward is inside of us. It is through the kindness that we give to others and through the kindness that others give to us that we keep each other afloat in this world because we cannot prevent the obstacles and the mishaps and curve balls from coming our way. They are going to come. But what we can do, what we have the power to do, what is in our ability to do is to throw somebody a life vest. A lifeline of kindness. That even though they are still surrounded by those troubles, they are still surrounded by those waters, that life vest is the difference between life and death. It gives them the hope to know that it is going to be okay. "
"...it is not huge gestures, it is the simple things that make the difference. And what we find often is that when we give of ourselves, we actually receive so much more. In a sense, it is like blowing air in our own life vest to keep us strong. When we give, that is the air that we blow into our life vest, making our life vest bigger and stronger, so we can then help others. Because when a person is engaged in active giving or in active kindness, then we feel so good, and there is scientific evidence and proof behind this. We release endorphins. People are less stressed. They live a longer life."
"Confidence comes from a place of strength. A person of confidence will make you feel like you matter. They will make you feel included. They will make you feel important. Arrogance comes from weakness. A person of arrogance will make you feel fearful, will make you feel like you are not good enough, will make you feel intimidated. That is the true test."
"I had to learn to be okay with being alone and still loving myself."
"Use positive energy to propel you forward. Negativity will only lead you down the road of negativity. The more you start looking for good, the more good you are going to see."
Some of Orly's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Prayer is a very big thing for me. That has kept me the most grounded. It is my guiding star. Honestly, through all the hardships."
"From Friday night to Saturday night. No phone. No television. No talking about work. No any sort of electric things. It is just being with my family. Being with myself. Connecting to and reflecting on the previous week as to what happened. How I have grown. To have a great time of connectivity and just hanging out with family and playing board games and stuff."
Easy meal: "Fish and beans."
Possession: "Magic Bullet"
Orly's Favorite Books: "The Garden of Emuna: A Practical Guide to Life by Shalom Arush" and "The Secret by Rhonda Byrne"
Best advice received: "Believe in myself and to keep pushing forward. And to know that everything happens for a reason." - Dad
Orly's Happiness Formula:
1. Recognizing you matter. Self-Value component. Self-Love.
2. Pursuing your passion.
3. Opening yourself up to ways that you can offer a lending hand to others. Giving kindness. Engaging in kindness.
A Challenge from Orly:
"Catching Kindness cards. The purpose of these kindness cards, when you see somebody doing it--an act of kindness for someone else--you give somebody a card, and it says on it, 'Tag you're it. You have been caught in the act. Now it is your turn to catch someone else in the act.' Exercise your eye muscle, get out there and spot kindness that is happening around you. Not that is happening to you. It is easy to see kindness happening to you, but the more you start becoming aware of kindness that is happening--good things that are happening in the world--a lot more goodness is going to be reflected back to you. Have at least one positive thing a day that you catch people doing for others."
Resources
Orly's Book: Kindness Boomerang: How to Save the World (and Yourself) Through 365 Daily Acts
Viral Video: Kindness Boomerang - "One Day"
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
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Sometimes our lives just don't feel "right." We just feel blah, or angry, or depressed... just plain out of alignment.
Instead of viewing this as a horrible thing, what would happen if we can view this as a SIGNAL - an opportunity to make a shift and get things back into alignment.
That difficult moment suddenly becomes an opportunity... and a gift.
www.jenriday.com/happy55
Megan Tenney shares her experience with forgiveness, choosing to be happy, and taking quality time for what's important, including a bath with a boot, vacation, and playing with her kids.
Megan Tenney is the author/owner of ShapingUpToBeAMom.com, where the goal is, "Life, easier. You, happier!" Her mission is to help other busy moms achieve their goals, while sharing her own adventures in parenting, fitness, travel, and checking off her bucket list. Born and raised on the shores of Maine, she relocated after college to the Arizona desert, where she now lives with her husband and four kids: Carter, Vanessa, Harrison, and Melody...
Nuggets of Wisdom from Megan:
"Just remember, this too shall pass away."
"I needed to learn how to forgive someone. That is why I had to go through those experiences."
"Your happiness is your own responsibility. You cannot depend on someone else to make you happy."
"Be easy on yourself. Don't jump right to feeling guilty for having negative thoughts toward someone. I think, to a certain extent, we can have power over our own feelings, and to a certain extent we cannot. And I think feelings might just come to you, like you get angry or you feel guilty, but then, you can fan the flames of that feeling or you can redirect your thoughts and try to focus on something else. It takes effort and it takes humility."
"One of the questions you [Jen] ask, the one that left the most lasting impact on me, was, 'At the end of your life, when you turn around and look back, what do you want to have done, or what do you want people to remember you for?' That made it so clear to me. Family. That is my absolute first priority."
Some of Megan's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "It has contributed to my sanity. I take a bath almost everyday. I just relax in the bathtub with a book and I do it almost everyday."
Easy meal: "Crockpot meal. So I make a pasta meal with a jar of marinara sauce. I used maybe four fifths of the marinara sauce. And another night, I do English muffin pizzas, and I use the leftover sauce."
Possession: "Crockpot. Vitamix."
Megan's Favorite Books: "'The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up,' by Marie Kondo, and 'Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment,'
by Tal Ben-Shahar."
"There are people that only focus on the present, and they do whatever it takes to make them feel good right now. Whether that's a bacon cheese burger, or sitting and watching TV, or whatever it is, and they don't plan for the future, and so they don't plan to be happier in the future. And then there are people that only plan for the future, and they deprive themselves of the moment. They eat only salads, or they work really hard and never take a vacation, and it's all for someday down the road. He [Tal Ben-Shahar] said that the happiest formula is to try to get both of those things, to do, ideally, one thing that will benefit you now and will benefit you later."
Best advice received: "Treat others the way you want to be treated."
Megan's Happiness Formula:
"I am happiest when I am being productive, planning a trip, and ending the day with a bath and a good book."
A Challenge from Megan:
"Plan a trip. It doesn't have to be Disney World. You don't have to get on a plane. It could be to the other end of town, to a restaurant you have never been to before."
Resources
My Konmari Closet (or Who Bought All These Clothes)
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
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Boundaries are all about where you end and the other person begins. Learn how to strengthen your boundaries through self awareness, clear communication, and consistent consequences so you can preserve (and increase!) your energy and happiness.
jenriday.com/happy54
In part 2 of a 2-part series, I share a painful event from my past involving a miscarriage and the marriage struggles that intensified as a result. Listen to Part 1 here.
And, for fun, here's my bio: (Every other guest has one, so I want to fit in with the "cool kids.") Jen is a 42-year-old mom of six and Women's Happiness Expert who lives just outside of Madison, Wisconsin with her family. Jen was raised on a farm with the values of hard work and honesty, and today Jen's priorities are spirituality, family, health and helping women find happiness (in that order). In her free time Jen enjoys yoga, meditation, time in nature, and curling up with a great book.
In this Happy Bit: "It all started with my son plopping a steaming (and HUGE) bowl of yummy goodness in front of me. He had cooked sweet potatoes, spinach, mushrooms, onions, hot dogs and a metric ton of garlic in some sizzling coconut oil... and it was AMAZING."
Our massage table is covered - COVERED - in books from various podcast guests and things I ordered on Amazon months ago but failed to read. But since I disccovered audio books from Audible, things are so much better! I can "read" again. ;) Because I love them so much, I've teamed up with audible.com to offer you a free audio book. Grab yours at vibranthappybook.com. You’ll also get a free thirty-day membership, too. Sweet!
Now on to our Happy Bit.
It all started with my son plopping a steaming (and HUGE) bowl of yummy goodness in front of me. He had cooked sweet potatoes, spinach, mushrooms, onions, hot dogs and a metric ton of garlic in some sizzling coconut oil... and it was AMAZING.
For a nearly 16-year-old, this boy has mad skillz!
But sadly I tend to get more caught up in the fact he didn't empty the trash or clean his room.
Always the LACK, the scarcity...
When we stop and focus on the good, everything feels to much better, from our emotions to the entire tone of the relationship.
One way to focus even more on the good is to create a vivid vision of the future - to take the good things now and play them out and see exactly what they might look like in the future.
For example, maybe my son will be an amazing chef, or a fantastic cook for his family... one good thing leads to another, and when we create a vivid mental picture of all the goodness that could happen in the future, we train our brains to keep going. It's fun!
Also, I share how you can get your hands on the Self Care Toolkit available at jenriday.com/selfcare.
Grab yours before it goes away: jenriday.com/selfcare
Make it a great week!
And remember to get your free audio book at vibranthappybook.com.
In part 1 of a 2-part series, I share a past life struggle involving a miscarriage and the marriage struggles that intensified as a result.
And, for fun, here's my bio (every other guest has one, so I want to fit in with the "cool kids."): Jen is a 42-year-old mom of 6 and Women's Happiness Expert who lives just outside of Madison, Wisconsin with her family. Jen was raised on a farm with the values of hard work and honesty, and today Jen's priorities are spirituality, family, healthy and helping women find happiness (in that order). In her free time Jen enjoys yoga, meditation, time in nature, and curling up with a great book.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Jen:
After I clawed myself out of the emotional pit that resulted from events on the most horrible day of my life (so far), I learned several things that helped me let go of the guilt I used to feel when I took time for myself:
- I'm loved and I'm worthy.
- I'm 100% in charge of my life and happiness.
- The greatest gift I can give my loved ones is my own happiness.
- I'm happiest when I take care of myself first (and others second).
- The Wheel of Happiness is the perfect guide to guide my use of time so I take care of ALL aspects of myself.
A Challenge from Jen:
Grab the Self Care Toolkit and learn the 5 things that will help you get rid of guilt... sweet!
Then... email me at support@jenriday.com and share 1) one thing you struggle with and 2) 1 thing from the Wheel of Happiness you're going to focus on to help you take better care of yourself so you can face your struggles with strength. You can ask to remain anonymous, or, at the other extreme you can volunteer to jump on a Skype audio call so I can record your voice for Part 2 of this episode, airing next week!
Resources
The 8 components of the Wheel of Happiness: Body, Mind, Emotion, Spirit, Contribution, Relationships, Outdoors, Resources.
Listen to Part 2 to get the rest of the story next week.
Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:
Do you start the day YOUR way?
At age 22 Loren Brill found out she had Hodgkins Lymphoma. Cured a year later, Loren decided she REALLY had to start living life as fully as possible. She entered her favorite natural cookie recipe in a contest and won. Now her cookies are in supermarkets across the nation under the Sweet Loren's brand. You'll love hearing Loren's tips for living a vibrant, happy life with 100% dedication (and with zero tolerance for negativity).
Loren is a 32-year-old New York City born and bred foodie and healthy lifestyle entrepreneur. She is the Founder and CEO of Sweet Loren's, a cookie dough company founded on the promise of delicious taste and better-for-you ingredients. Sweet Loren's offers both retail refrigerated cookie dough sold in supermarkets across the country, as well as bulk food service for businesses to bake.Loren is also a certified Hatha Yoga instructor and blogger for the Huffington Post. In her free time Loren loves to travel, laugh, have spontaneous adventures, swim in warm water, cook with friends, try new restaurants, do triathlons, paddle board, wakeboard, ski, spin, paint, and drink good wine..
Nuggets of Wisdom from Loren:
"You miss a hundred percent of the shots you do not take."
"Fear is really what holds us back most of the time from following our dreams."
"I realized that in order to build from the ground up, I was going to have to hustle my butt off."
"But when it is something that you love and it is something that starts growing and has a life of its own, it is something that makes you really happy, it is just this magical combination that has its own driving force and you are just kind of there to guide it along and keep up with it and make sure that it stays on course."
"It is really important to surround yourself with positive energy and a positive attitude and be gentle on yourself."
"If you are strong mentally and physically, you can really get through anything. Life becomes really a joy. You feel very empowered."
Some of Loren's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Waking up every day and really being grateful and having a clear head. Whether that is a really good workout for you or meditation, but really starting the day grateful with a clear head. And then being able to prioritize."
Easy meal: "Making plantains. Baking them until soft. And cutting them in the middle and then keep stuffing them with whatever you like. So shredded chicken, shredded vegetables. It's just really easy and delicious and interesting."
Possession: "A cast iron skillet."
Loren's Favorite Books: Steve Jobs' Biography
Best advice received: "You've got to be strong." (Loren's Mom) and "You do not scare me." (Hoda Kotb)
Loren's Happiness Formula:
"Digging in deep and listening to your gut. Combine that with honoring your dreams. Going for it 100% with a great positive attitude. And making sure that your life is full."
A Challenge from Loren:
"I challenge anyone listening to let go of fear. To really dig deep and look at their life and see if there is any area where they would want to change and wake up tomorrow and have zero excuses and go after it. To really just throw fear aside."
Resources
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:
Learn how 20 seconds can completely change the other 86,000 seconds in your day...
Carol Egan felt a bit broken when they took her newborn baby away to be placed in foster care many years ago. But as she watched those elevator doors close behind the woman taking her baby away, a level of fierceness, tenacity and unstoppability came over Carol and she did everything in her power to make enough money to get a place so she could get her baby back. She worked as a waitress and visited her son every day for 4 months until she got him back. The rest of her life built upon that decision to be fierce and Carol has earned several degrees with honors, raised an amazing son as a single parent, and now helps hundreds of women as a health coach.
Carol is a Holistic Health Coach from Avon, CT. She specializes in digestive health and detoxification. She works with women who want to look and feel their very best. After years of taking care of their families and all the to do’s that go with that, many women are troubled with excess weight, low energy and foggy thinking. Carol helps them take control of their health so they can focus on what matters most to them. In her spare time Carol loves to cook, read, go to hot yoga, and she’s building a running practice.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Carol:
"To know that we know what we know and to know that we do not know what we do not know is true knowledge." ~Copernicus
"There were moments in my healing journey that I started discovering things that I never knew existed, and they changed my life. "
"That is true knowledge, to know that there's things that could make a difference for you and the quality of your life, but you might not know it even exists. And so, we are open. And all of a sudden, these things start to float to us."
"I really learned that everything and anything is possible."
"Life has never asked me to step up like that, like those moments."
"I could have never done what I did without my mother. She was a huge support."
"Always come back to self."
"The truth of the matter is, you have the fierceness within you. We each have the capability to accomplish everything we want. And the more we give our power away... I guess if we reduce it down to a catch phrase, be one hundred percent responsible for you life. Be the CEO and the director of the course of your life."
"I believe that we are all capable of achieving far greater things than we can even see possible. "
"There's things that you might not see in this moment because a moment is taking you over."
"The pill is going to help you think you are feeling better, but your body is still degrading. It is still degenerating. Whatever has caused you to have autoimmune disease has to be addressed on a holistic level."
"My ultimate goal is to bring people to a lived experience in their body where they literally feel healthy or what healthy feels like."
Some of Carol's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: 5 to Thrive, which helps people get back to themselves. 1. Sleep gives you an advantage hormonally. 2. You are what you eat -Nutrition 3. Become a zone master; meditation and mindfulness 4. Oxygen - we get it through both exercise and nutrition and the most primary nutrient that we need. 5. Hydration
Easy meal: "I like spicy peppers. If you do not like spicy peppers, get a red pepper. Split it in half, lengthwise. Hollow it out and smash an avocado and load it up. And then in a small bowl, because I have been eating so much of this, I love radicchio. I chop up the radicchio or something like arugula. I chop it up finely like a chopped salad. I chop up olives. I chop up a little onion, a little hotter pepper, a little roasted red pepper, depending on what the base is. And I make this little chopped salad next. Sprouts, always sprouts. And I just put in on top. It is a great portable thing because you do not have to do anything."
Possession: "My juicer"
Carol's Favorite Books: The Alchemist - Paolo Coelho and Big Magic - Elizabeth Gilbert
Best advice received: "Do not be afraid to take a risk."
Carol's Happiness Formula:
"Create calm in the body, plus clear, plus energized equals happiness."
"Calm ourselves with our breathe to create clarity, to create mental clarity. So our choices and our decisions are smart and aligned with what we really want."
"Clearly, we need energy. If we are tired and exhausted and not healthy in our body then we are not going to achieve happiness that lasts, happiness that fulfills us."
A Challenge from Carol:
"For today, add in one healthy thing a day. If you could have one green juice, one green smoothie, or one meal size green salad, that would be a great step to start working on your energy from a cellular level."
Resources
Jen's Eliminate Overwhelm Guide
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:
s9shnfc9
Learn the connection between the 5 senses, focus, cortisol and happiness. This is science, people. And that means when we're mindful, we really will be happier on a neurochemical level.
www.jenriday.com
Learn the 3 things that are required to be a kind person. This eye-opening interview will make all the difference in your relationships.
www.jenriday.com/50
I share the story of my daughter Cora's hurt foot and what the doctor recommended and how this relates to our own emotional health.
Sophie Sabbage shares her story of receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, working through the grief and then making the choice to allow cancer to transform her life. Learn how Sophie copes with the fear of cancer, how she feels healthier than ever, and what she's doing to help others with a cancer diagnosis. Sophie is an inspirational writer, speaker, and facilitator who has worked in the field of human development, emotional intelligence, mindset change, and corporate culture change for more than twenty years. The Cancer Whisperer was a UK bestseller and was release in the U.S. in 2017.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Sophie:
"The last of the human freedoms is to choose your own attitude in any given situation." ~Victor Frankl
"I have cancer. Cancer does not have me."
"I realized in that moment that I valued my lucidity and clarity of mind more than my life. And it was threatening my cognitive abilities, my ability to speak, my ability to see, my ability to understand, so it was terrifying for me, the idea that I going to lose my mind having worked for 30 years on gaining my right mind if that make sense."
"I used to think people prayed on their knees as a sign of reverence and an act of humility but now I know that sometimes we are just bought to our knees by the events of our lives. And I was brought to my knees that day. I literally just dropped to my knees by the log fire at home. And I prayed. I do not often pray. I wept and I prayed. "
"I think the grief and the surrender really empowered me paradoxically. I never thought of surrendering that way."
"I want to just say it is okay to be vulnerable and it is okay to be terrified. And also, to teach people what to do with their terror. "
"If you do not take hold of your fear and push through it, it will make your decisions for you as a cancer patient."
"It puts you on war with your own body when you need to make peace with your body. I had been at war with my body my whole life. That is partly why I got cancer."
"I knew I needed to make peace with my body and listen to it instead of fighting it. And I want to get rid of my disease. But I think I've got a better shot at doing that if I am listening to it than if I am in a state of anger and defiance and rebellion which just causes stress."
"What if cancer is a teacher, not an enemy?"
"I am more grateful to my cancer than I am scared of it. I am grateful for it. It transformed my life. I have let it transform my life. We need to be proactive to do that, but it has gifted me in many ways."
"The most important thing is to get some support because it is a very arduous thing to do on your own. But mostly, it is about noticing what is running through your head and what you are believing. I call it mind talk. The mind would just make things up and terrify you with what is going to happen and you need to get that stuff out of your head and start verifying it and telling the truth about it."
"Cancer is loaded with meanings. It is like a gun that gets shot at you, and you think the worst. Hair loss, control loss, pain, agony, misery. It all just runs through your head, instantly and in lightning speed. And you need to get that stuff out of your head, and you need to look at it in the cold light of day. And you need to get very accurate with what you are dealing with and get as much information from your doctor as you can. A lot of patients do not want to know everything because they are so scared. But the more you know, the more power you have. So, it is about getting hold of reality - the reality of what you are dealing with - even if it is more tumors in your brain than they can count."
Some of Sophie's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Breathing helps. Breathing brings us be present when we breathe consciously. And also, verifying my mind talk. I do it every day."
Easy meal: "Avocado and feta salad."
Possession: "My husband. And my kettle."
Sophie's Favorite Books: "Thirst: Poems by Mary Oliver" A Box Full of Darkness: "Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too was a gift."
Best advice received: "The warrior's way: Seven times down. Eight times up. Then repeat." ~ Dr. Brad Brown
"Do not become a patient, Mrs. Sabbage. Live your life."
Sophie's Happiness Formula:
"I am happiest when I am loving, when I am forgiving, when I am self-accepting and when I am thankful."
A Challenge from Sophie:
"I want to challenge listeners to write down three regrets that they have been harboring and then make a choice about each of those regrets. So, you can either let them go, and I mean really deeply let them go. Write on a piece of paper. Throw it in a fire, burn it, whatever it takes. Or choose an action to change the regret. "
Resources
Sophie Sabbage, The Cancer Whisperer
Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:
Ever felt like time is moving too fast? Do this ONE thing to make time slow down.
www.jenriday.com
Kimberly Johnson shares her story of suffering a significant birth trauma that took years to heal and how she discovered that it's critical that we engage in excellent self care while trusting and listening to our bodies. Fast forward to the present, Kim helps mothers heal from their own birth traumas and reawaken healthy and fulfilling sexual intimacy in their relationships.
Kimberly is a Somatic Experiencing trauma resolution practitioner, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, doula, postpartum care advocate and single mom. She works at the intersection of birth, sex, and trauma, specializing in birth injuries, birth trauma, and sexual healing. She created a process called the Birth Rehearsal to help women somatically prepare for birth. She is the author of the upcoming book, The Fourth Trimester: A New Mother’s Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Kimberly:
"You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk for miles on your knees repenting. You just have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves." - Mary Oliver poem
"I have experienced a natural intelligence of our body that's 100% trustworthy - much more trustworthy than our minds or our memory. And if we can return to that wisdom through the present moment, we do not have to go excavating for why we are the way we are and why do we make that choice and why does the cycle repeat.. that it really presents itself in the present moment through deep listening and I facilitate that process."
"I actually deserve the care. It is not a luxury. It is a necessity that I care for myself. "
"We have forgotten that women are the center of the spiritual foundation of life and that we are the creators and when that is overlooked and belittled. Then there is a sense that we do not deserve it... and we inherited it from our mothers and our grandmothers and our whole puritanical culture is "sacrifice, the harder you work, the better person you are, that the more you give up, the more holy you are, the more spiritual you are."
"There is a lot of healing one can do on one's own. But the most powerful part of my healing process was really having expert witnessing from people that I trusted because so much of my fabric of support had been torn at that point in my life that I really needed to restore that fabric in order to feel safe and be able to move to the next level of healing."
Some of Kimberly's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Not thinking, 'Oh! That is not challenging enough!' To be able to allow myself to go towards what feels good."
Easy meal: Roast Chicken
Possession: Old-fashioned orange juice squeezer.
Kimberly's Favorite Books: Women's Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston and The Autobiography of Malcolm X by Alex Haley and Malcolm X
Best advice received: "Have faith in doing what I love."
Kimberly's Happiness Formula:
"Deep connection. Collaboration. Hysterical laughter."
A Challenge from Kimberly:
"I want to challenge everyone listening to have one moment of expressing to their partner just how they are feeling in their body at that moment."
Resources
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We all want more of it and none of us has quite enough of it... We're talking about patience. In this HappyBit Jen shares 3 tips to increase your non-reactivity throughout the day.
Anna Seewald was forced to grow up quickly when a devastating earthquake killed her mother and destroyed her home town in Armenia when she was only 13 years old. Today Anna strives to live a mindful, slow-paced life that allows her to concentrate on enjoying every moment and being the best mom she can be. Listen to get some great tips on saying “no” to the unnecessaries, taking time to do nothing at all, and how critical it is that we as moms know ourselves deeply and choose the life that makes us happiest.
Anna Seewald is the founder of Authentic Parenting®. She is a speaker, author and a parent educator. She is a mom to a vibrant 8 year old who doesn’t approve of her fashion choices. With a strong passion for helping children, Anna has dedicated her life to working with abused, neglected, orphaned and institutionalized children and juvenile delinquents. After nearly 20 years she realized that it is through helping parents she can help children. Today she is supporting parents around the world by moving from traditional ways of parenting into more peaceful, conscious ways by helping them make sense of their past life experiences, heal from trauma, build effective communication, practice non-punitive discipline and learn to set limits with love and kindness.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Anna:
"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by the spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." -Albert Schweitzer
"'The past is never dead. It’s not even past. The past defines who we are.' (William Faulkner). We cannot forget where we come from, who we are. We bring in all our unresolved issues, our traumas, all that attachment history comes into play. If we forget and move forward, we never look back. The past will crawl out, and it will haunt you in your present day. So we need to make sense of our life stories, resolve our unresolved issues, and heal from our traumas in order to live vibrant, happy and fulfilled lives.”
Some of Anna's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Just having alone time, solitude, in the morning. Every morning, I wake up, I make myself a cup of coffee, I sit in my favorite chair in my living room. And then I just sit there and do nothing for a specific amount of time. It could be 15 minutes, 10, 20. Even if I do not have that time in the morning, I still get up early, just to have at least a few moments with myself because looking inwards for me has been the most powerful and empowering, important life lesson. Because no one can make me happy. I cannot expect my husband to make med happy. I am happy. I have to be happy on my own before I have fulfilling relationships with others."
Easy meal: "Omelette. Any kind of omelette. I throw in some vegetables: spinach, feta cheese, mushrooms, or one with scallions and parsley."
Possession: Cuisinart Food Processor
Anna's Favorite Books: The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Best advice received: "Do not sweat the small stuff, and it is all small stuff." -Anna's husband
Anna's Happiness Formula:
"Meaningful relationships, connections, attachments, friendships, family (one category). Doing the things that make me fulfilled. Expressing myself through art or doing something that I love. And perhaps, taking care of myself. We need to take care of our body first and foremost. To be healthy, to have good relationships and to do the things that you love most. "
A Challenge from Anna:
"I want parents to take a piece of paper and write down five things, big or small, or it could be really big. Something in your eyes, in your own opinion that makes you a great parent. Be honest with yourself. Give yourself credit. "
Resources
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
15 Powerful things to Say To Your Kids
Parenting Conversations Authentic Moments with Anna Seewald
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Learn how to feel proactive instead of reactive and to start your day feeling AH-mazing instead of overwhelmed...
Emily Cummins is passionate about partnering with churches and people to reach their full potential and effectively share their story through digital communication strategies. She also founded and leads a community and resource for women, BecomingMe.TV, encouraging, empowering and equipping women as they’re living to their highest God-given potential. Emily lives in Ocala, Florida and for fun she loves spending time on the beach and driving with the top down blaring the latest Taylor Swift song. She also enjoys reading and writing.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Emily:
"Choose to become who God made you to be and daily choose to be her. Choose to become who God made you to be and daily choose to be her."
"My pursuit for this endless perfection that really was never granted, it was breaking me apart, and it was limiting from becoming who God made me to be."
"'Emily, you are not made to be perfect, and you do not have to be.' There is freedom in that. But you can wake up and choose to become who God made you to be no matter what you are experiencing."
"Sometimes our weaknesses can become our very strengths."
"Life is hard. We go through lots of low points and lots of valleys. But we do not ever have to live there."
"It reminds me that other people are on this journey too. And when we share who we are and what we are doing, we become stronger together."
"Strip off all the labels and the lies that you have told yourself or that you have listened to from other people. We have to dig through the junk that is in our hearts and in our minds first. And many times that is just stuff we tell ourselves. Second, you have to choose to love you. If you do not love yourself, there is really no way that you can really genuinely love those around you well or even love what you are doing. We have to love who we are in order to become whoever you want to be. Last, you just have to choose to be her."
"The decision to be free really lies with me."
"I think we are all strong to an extent, but I do believe in that power, and for me that is God. "
Some of Emily's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Writing is my favorite habit because it keeps me centered. It keeps me balanced. It helps me think through things objectively. It
clears my brain."
Easy meal: "Breakfast for every meal."
Possession: "Spatula."
Ruth's Favorite Books: Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist
Best advice received: "You know who you wanna be. Just choose to be her."
Emily's Happiness Formula:
"Lacing up my warrior boots. Pursuing & becoming who God made me to be. And daily choosing to be her."
A Challenge from Emily:
"No matter what you are facing today, you can rise above it. The power and the key is already inside you. Just choose to be who you are."
Resources
Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group
Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist
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When you figure out your top 4 priorities and let go of the rest, everything gets so much more productive (and happy!)
After going through years of severe depression Ruth Soukup made her way back to a place of light and hope. She said, “I made a choice to be happy and not spend the rest of my life feeling broken.” Fast forward to today: Ruth is a blogger, author, and entrepreneur, as well as the New York Times bestselling author of Living Well Spending Less: 12 Secrets of the Good Life and the founder of the Living Well Planner™. Through her popular blog, LivingWellSpendingLess.com, she encourages more than a million monthly readers to follow their dreams and reach their goals, sharing easy-to-implement tips and strategies for saving time and money while focusing on the things that matter most. She lives in Washington State with her husband Chuck and two daughters, Maggie and Annie.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Ruth:
"Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is only the courage to continue that matters." -Winston Churchill
"Life is just a journey that we're on. We have ups and downs. We have highs and lows. And it is just a reminder to me that when things go right, it does not mean that that is the end, and I can be done. And when things go wrong, it is not the end of the world... you've got to keep moving, and you've got to keep going forward."
"I slowly began to figure out how to live again, and it took awhile. But it was that conscious moment of saying, 'I am not going to dwell in the past anymore.'"
"There is hope. I think that was the thing that for me, especially when I was in that really dark place. I love my story just in the sense that I am one person that you can look at and say, 'She was there. She was in that dark place and things got better for her.' There is hope, and believe that there is hope and there is light at the end of the tunnel and hold on to that hope even if you cannot see the last light and you cannot feel the hope for yourself."
"That is really where my heart is: encouraging women to set goals for themselves and to figure out practical ways to handle those other things that keep us so busy, so that there is a little more margin for those things that really get us excited."
"As humans, we do not need somebody to preach at us and tell us all the things we are doing wrong and the other people are doing it better, but to realize that there are other people out there who have struggled just like we do and maybe have a rough time and have some solutions along the way: 'Here's what helped me, this might help you too...'"
"Give yourself permission to dream for 20 minutes or half an hour about all of the possibilities and write those things down, and start thinking, 'Yeah, you know what, I could maybe do this.' I like to encourage people to dream, or to set goals that are so big that they scare you a little bit. Because I think that when you feel that little tingle of excitement inside yourself, like, 'Oh my gosh, I cannot believe I just said that. I cannot believe that I just admitted that to myself, that I really want to do that...' -that is where you start to like feel that passion, to feel that fire inside. And then from there, once you have given yourself permission to think big and dream big, I really like to encourage people to dream big and plan small. Instead of starting with a day to day thing, starting with your grand vision. And breaking it down to your goals for the years, and then break that down into your goals for the month. And then break that down for your goals for the week. And then for your goals for the day. Doing that makes you realize what is really important. Because the reality for us is that there is only 24 hours a day. We can only do so much and none of us can do everything. You start with your big things, and you make those the first things on your list rather than the last things on your lists. You will accomplish more..."
"That failure has actually taught me so much about myself. Because I realized failing was not the end of the world. I thought dropping out of law school would have been the end of the world but instead it allowed me eventually to... find what my passion is, which is what I am doing now. But I would have never been doing what I am doing now if I finished law school. "
"Sometimes the process of trial and error, and the process of just putting yourself out there and trying new things allows you to find what you truly love and what you are truly passionate about."
"Keep doing the best that you can and you will be fine."
Some of Ruth's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: "Getting up early."
Easy meal: "I love breakfast for dinner. And freezer meals."
Possession: "Cheese slicer! Gouda."
Ruth's Favorite Books: " The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, Smarter Faster Better by Charles Duhigg, and Good to Great by Jim Collins"
Best advice received: "Everybody feels that way and we are all just making it up as we go along. And the best thing that you can do is just keep plugging away and keep making it up as you go along."
Ruth's Happiness Formula:
"My kids and my husband. Being able to do the work that I do. Being able to get up early in the morning and work at something that I love. Helping people along the way and making a difference in people's lives. "
A Challenge from Ruth:
"Take the Crushing It mini course."
Resources
Living Well Spending Less (Ruth's Website)
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Learn how to get out of the trees so you can see the forest by taking regular Mountain Moments throughout the day.
Have you ever ended the day by realizing everything you ate that day was all junkfood?! Cassie Piasecki had that experience and decided to change her life, get healthy and then start sharing her journey of health and wellness with others. Cassie created the Wheel of Wellness (WOW) nutrition program and has helped thousands of women to be their healthiest self. Cassie also has over 25 years of experience in the health and fitness industry, as a certified holistic health practitioner and teaching Pilates, indoor cycling, dance. She has taught fitness to over 10,000 people! She lives at the beach in Southern California with her husband Jack and 2 dogs and 22 old daughter who rarely comes home from the east coast.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Cassie:
"Physical fitness is the first requisite of happiness." - Joseph Pilates
"If I can get up in the morning, even it has to be really early, and get my body moving, I am always happier during the day."
"If I take care of myself, my health is good, my body is moving and relatively pain free at the age of 48, I can handle everything else pretty much with a smile on my face. "
"You can do anything for 3 weeks! You're a woman!"
"I quit the sugar, and I quit the gluten for 3 weeks. And within 7 days my moods leveled out. Within 2 weeks, my skin cleared up. And within 3 weeks, all of the things, like stomachaches that I thought were just because maybe I was stressed out or whatever, all went away. So, it was the combination of the sugar and the gluten.... So, after those 3 weeks, there was no way I was going to go back. I mean, I just felt and looked so much better that there was no way I was going to go back."
"The fact that I was not moody anymore, and I did not have to worry that I was going to spout off or, you know, get upset, my patience, just all of that, got so much better. That was a big enough reason for me to stay the course."
"I wanted other women my age to feel and look and act as wonderful as I found that I could eating a very whole foods, low sugar, low-processed food-type diet. I do not like to say diet, it is just a lifestyle."
"The first step is acknowledging that they just do not feel good. And stepping either on a scale or taking a look in their closet at all the clothes that used to fit and do not fit anymore. And just acknowledging, 'Hey, this is not working for me anymore, and I need to do something about it, and I need to do something that might take a little bit longer, but it is going to last a lifetime.'"
Some of Cassie's Favorite Things:
Personal habit: Exercise. "When I wake up first thing in the morning, I meditate. And get up and then I throw on some lycra, and I go and I work out."
Easy meal: "Spaghetti Squash. I cut it in half. And then I bake it and roast it in the oven. And then I put them in the refrigerator. And then, everyday for lunch, take the half of the spaghetti squash and fill it with whatever leftover vegetables I have. I just fill the center of the spaghetti squash with whatever I want. And it is so yummy!"
Possession: "A set of odd measuring spoons."
Cassie's Favorite Books: "The Dip by Seth Godin"
Best advice received: "If something is not working, it is okay to quit. There are some diets that you should quit."
Cassie's Happiness Formula:
"When I am done working out, and I eat a really good breakfast, and then I get to do one of three things. I either get to put on my bathing suit and go down to the beach, or I get to walk around Paris, France, or I get a message from my daughter that everything is going right in her world that day."
A Challenge from Cassie:
"The challenge is not to get them to eat less sugar today. The challenge is for them to add up how much sugar they eat over the course of 5 days. So, everyday, write down all the sugar that you eat. Even sugar from an apple. And see how much you are really consuming. And just sometimes that way of doing it is kind of a wake up call that you are consuming too much."
Resources
Free Guided Meditation from Jen
It's Me Cassie (Cassie's website)
The Wow Life (Wheel of Wellness) Program
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